I am a highly sensitive person: everything is louder, brighter, hotter, colder, or more fragrant (or stinky - depending on the source of the odor) to me. I didn't choose this. It's just how my brain is wired. My family gets frustrated with me when we go out to eat because restaurants, malls, and grocery stores blast music all the time. It's obnoxious. And intolerable. I carry earplugs, and try to choose places that don't crank the tunes - music which is usually appealing to a demographic 20-40 years younger than the people I see shopping around me.
So I was thinking about this the other day. Since I can't stop being highly sensitive, I was wondering whether God would use this trait in me. If He doesn't change it, it must be because He wants me to be this way. And if He wants me to be this way, then I have to give it all to Him to use for His glory. I don't have any idea what that would look like: I'm not going to start sniffing luggage at the airport - hey, dogs have to work too!
If the way I am is so difficult for me, and it is, my only choices are to pray that God will change me or that He will use my sensitivity for His glory! I can't wait to see which He chooses!
About Me
- jmrs1010
- I am a fiscally and socially conservative Christian who gets frustrated with the world, and my place in it, and wants to talk about it.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
The Holy Spirit
I recently read "The Forgotten God" by Francis Chan. I've been interested in the Holy Spirit for a long time, but the only book I've read was by Billy Graham. I've often thought of the Holy Spirit as an "it" or a "power source" but I haven't meditated on Him as fully God, as are the Father and the Son.
Chan's book really spotlighted the same problems I've had, not only with not fully understanding Him as part of the Trinity, but in honoring Him at work in my life and understanding what God has given me by allowing His Holy Spirit to indwell me.
I pray differently now, fervently praying that the Holy Spirit would manifest in me the fruit of the spirit - I need them all desperately. And I know who I would be without His working in me - a complete wretch! That's not false humility. That's truth.
I see some small improvements - in my patience, my kindness, my peace. I still struggle with loving people. I'm so critical, I see faults and flaws, and I judge people with my own wicked judgement instead of the judgement of God. But I will keep praying to manifest all the fruit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. And I will always give glory to God for any improvement because I couldn't do one thing without the power of the Holy Spirit inside me.
Chan's book really spotlighted the same problems I've had, not only with not fully understanding Him as part of the Trinity, but in honoring Him at work in my life and understanding what God has given me by allowing His Holy Spirit to indwell me.
I pray differently now, fervently praying that the Holy Spirit would manifest in me the fruit of the spirit - I need them all desperately. And I know who I would be without His working in me - a complete wretch! That's not false humility. That's truth.
I see some small improvements - in my patience, my kindness, my peace. I still struggle with loving people. I'm so critical, I see faults and flaws, and I judge people with my own wicked judgement instead of the judgement of God. But I will keep praying to manifest all the fruit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. And I will always give glory to God for any improvement because I couldn't do one thing without the power of the Holy Spirit inside me.
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