Meditation

Last week my pastor talked about goals for the New Year. I had been feeling pretty happy with myself for having set some smallish goals this year. I don't usually make resolutions, but my lack of discipline has really hindered me: in terms of improving my health (as much as I can in light of some things I can't control), my Christian growth, and my desire to immerse myself in the study of apologetics. Without discipline, those things, and others, have been nothing more than wishes.

What I learned Sunday really shocked me - I never even asked God what HE wants me to do! I pray all the time, but clearly I thought I didn't need to ask His opinion on this valuable question: what should I do with the time He's given me?

One of the categories Pastor Chico mentioned was meditation. I'm not hyper or super-active, but the idea of sitting and thinking, without any distractions, is foreign to me. Part of the problem is that thinking too much made me sad because I wasn't choosing what to think about.

I really want to pursue this - the idea of meditating on God, His attributes, His blessings, His creation - any and all things about God - is very exciting. And it requires discipline that I don't yet have, which can only help me in all areas of my life.

Church

I really like my church, Mission Hills Church in San Marcos, and my pastor, Chico Goff. I go late because the music during the first half hour is painfully loud. But I try to get in before the pastor starts to speak. I know it seems rude, but the iPod generation is in charge of the volume and I can't bear it.


Pastor Chico is great. He has the degrees, but he doesn't wear them on his sleeve. He talks like regular people talk, weaves stories into his sermons that let us know he's a regular guy whose made mistakes, and teaches me more about Jesus every week.

Resolution Progress

My resolution progress is fairly bleak. I haven't exercised or played the piano since last week. I have written only one entry in my journal. I have done some reading, finished one small book, and did one chapter in my apologetics study guide. I wasn't going to get stressed about it. It's only the 11th day of the year. There's always time to change. Until Jesus comes and takes me home, there's still time to be better than I am, and do better than I do.

New Year's Resolutions

I was going to create some New Year's "Goals," but that's a cop-out. So "Resolutions" it is! I made a list that fills a page. The list includes things like exercising regularly, reading more, studying apologetics, writing, and finding a piano teacher. These are all things I have been doing spottily for years. Now I want to make a disciplined, focused attempt to do more of them more often.

These are not difficult things I've listed. What I've lacked is the drive to accomplish. And I've decided that, even if I don't see a tremendous amount of progress, I will keep at it. At least that's what I resolve to do!